Nisful Imaan aims to bring together single Muslim males & females that are sincerely looking to get married. The duty of every Muslim is to be a guardian unto each other, to enjoin good and forbid evil.

If you are married, kindly forward this invitation to unmarried friends.

After a successful pilot event and due to great demand, Nisful Imaan will be hosting its third marriage event insha’Allah. It’s an opportunity for single Muslim males and females to meet potential suitors in a safe Islamic environment.

If you are interested send an email to nisfulimaan@gmail.com

You will then be contacted regarding payment (R100) and securing a seat
Date : 13 March 2011
Place: JHB (venue will be disclosed on confirmation of your attendance to maintain privacy)
please email nisfulimaan@gmail.com for full information.

Ar Rihla invites you to attend an educational & informative course outlining the steps you need to take towards finding a suitable marriage partner.With exceptionally beneficial content both for the unmarried & married individual,this program highlights common mistakes & relationship problems as well as must-have information for anyone considering marriage. Combining guidelines put forth by the Shari’ah with practical examples from the life of Nabi Muhammad SallAllahu alaihi wa Sallam,the Sahaabah and leading Muslim husbands & wives, this seminar clearly explains the most common challenges faced both before & after marriage together with simple, practical solutions.

Course Content:

* Are you ready to get married? Knowing when the time is right.

* 15 questions for you to answer before searching for a spouse

* Conditions when marriage is recommended and instances where marriage is Haraam (Prohibited)

* Religion & Relationships : The link,implications & the need

* What to look for in a spouse. Advice from the Blessed Sunnah

* Key considerations prior to  marriage

* Questions to ask your prospective spouse

* Deal-makers & deal-breakers

* Istikhaara (Asking Allah Ta’ala for guidance)

* The role of parents in choosing one’s life partner

* Nikaah – The way the Shar’iah advises

* Rights,duties & responsibilities of a Husband

* Rights,duties & responsibilities of a Wife

* The impact of children on a marriage

* Resolving disagreements & disputes

* Why do marriages end & what can be done to avert a hurtful ending?

* 10 things which lead to arguments in a marriage

* Dealing with in-laws. People skills & relationship advice from the Sunnah

* Dealing with disappointment,stress & change in a relationship

* Steps towards ensuring a marital life that is fulfilling,enjoyable & rewarding

* Developing you own personal Rihla marriage plan

* Q & A

We always seek the advice of those more learned than us & marriage is definitely one of those occasions where we should be taking the best advice possible. Why not take the advice of Allah Ta’ala Himself? Draw from the wisdom of the Shar’iah and make an informed,educated decision when choosing your life partner. Learn the techniques taught by the Qur’aan & Sunnah to achieve marital bliss and a relationship that brings peace of mind and joy to the heart.

Details

Date: 13th March 2011 Insha Allah

Time: 9:00 a.m. – 1:30 p.m.

Venue: Parktown, Johannesburg (Details on registration)

Fee: R 150.00 per person

View the full program details & registration information here http://www.rihla.co.za/2011/02/orchards-of-love-islams-guide-to-marital-bliss/

Practical Tips on Getting Your Little Loved Ones to Make and Enjoy Salah

By Maysoon Zaza

In a hadeeth narrated by Abdullah ibn Qart the Messenger of Allah (saws) said,
“The first act that the servant of Allah will be accountable for on the Day of Judgment will be salah. If it is good, then the rest of his acts will be good. And if it is evil, then the rest of his acts will be evil.” (Tabarani)

Furthermore, salah was the first act of worship that was made obligatory by Allah. Therefore, due to its extreme importance to the Believer, salah should be one of the first acts of worship that parents should teach their children.

When discussing teaching children how to make salah parents typically ask when is it necessary to begin teaching their children. Let us be realistic; learning how to make salah is not easy for children or in some cases adults. It can take a lot of work to master even the simplest elements of salah. The learner must memorize the various du’aa and Surah’s of the Qur’an- not to mention the other required portions of the salah. Furthermore, there must be work on proper pronunciation and rules on how, when, and what makes salah valid. This is not an overnight process but rather one that takes times. Therefore, this leaves us with the question-when should children learn how to make salah?

Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-As, narrated that the Apostle of Allah, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, “Command your children to make salah when they become seven years old, and spank them for it (salah) when they become ten years old, and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately.” (Abu Dawud). This does not mean that parents can only start teaching their children how to perform it when they reach the age of seven. Rather, informal instruction should start when a child starts to show an interest in salah, which usually occurs around the age of two. It is only human nature that children love to imitate their parents. In fact, this is one method that Allah has provided us for teaching our youth.

Therefore, it is important for parents of small children to let them “pretend” to make the salah along side of the parents. The benefits for this are twofold. First, it teaches children that it is necessary to make salah everyday five times a day. And second, it helps children learn the physical movements of the salah. It really is amazing how fast a two-year-old will learn the phrase Allahu-Akbar when he performs salah along side of his parents!

The next step is to teach your child al-Fatihah. This should begin around the age of three or four. When teaching children Surah’s or any other portions of the salah that must be memorized; it is important to remember to break down the instructions by using a reasonable number of verses or small segments. In other words, teaching a child how to perform the salah should be done progressively in small steps. It is important to practice reciting the previously learned material consistently everyday along with any new material. These practice sessions should only last between 5 to 15 minutes. At this age, length of practice is not as important as consistency. Also, it is important to note that not everyday will your child be ready to learn new material. Work on mastery of material not quantity. The other question many parents ask is whether or not to teach Surah’s using Tajweed. Actually, many parents find it helpful to combine the two. Children have an amazing ability to remember songs in commercials or various children’s song. For many children, the act of singing actually makes it easier to memorize. However, at this age it is important not to focus on the rules of recitation but rather on the content.

While the presence of a teacher or parent teaching children the proper method of making salah can not be underestimated, many parents find supplemental materials helpful in teaching their children how to make salah. Every year new educational products are being introduced into the Muslim market. Today, Muslim parents have available coloring books, storybooks, developmentally appropriate teaching videotapes, audio tapes, and computer programs to enhance the learning process. Generally children learn new tasks best if teaching material is presented in a variety of formats. The use of such material will only help increase the speed and amount of learning for your child not to mention that it will make the experience more enjoyable.

Lastly, one of the most important aspects of successful teaching is praise and encouragement. Remember that children like to please their parents. Also, it is really important that parents praise and celebrate their children’s accomplishments. This is especially true for learning how to make salah. After the mastery of a section, children typically feel a strong sense of achievement. Praise motivates the child to continue to learn and accomplish new goals.

First published in Al-Jumuah magazine.

Via: http://www.muslimmums.co.za/category/general/spirituality/

“…And I want to remind you of the saying of the Prophet  (صلى الله عليه Ùˆ سلم): “The believer who mixes with the people and is patient with the harm they inflict is better than the believer who doesn’t mix with the people and isn’t patient with the harm they inflict,” as reported by Ahmad and others from Ibn ‘Umar.

Based on this, what I advise you to do is to be patient with your family and to withstand their harm and to strive to give them da’wah and try to save them from the Fire, as in the verse: {“O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones. It has stern, severe Angels watching over it who don’t disobey Allah in what He orders them with, and they do all that they are ordered.”} [at-Tahrim; 6]

And I hope you don’t think of leaving the house and abandoning them. Exhaust all means of da’wah with them, especially if staying with them will have some effect on even a few of them.

Beware of starting off in a harsh and extreme way that will turn them off. Rather, talk to them according to what they understand with wisdom and kindness, as Allah Said: {“Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and kind way of speaking, and discuss with them in the best way.”} [an-Nahl; 125]

And remember the saying of the Prophet  (صلى الله عليه Ùˆ سلم): “Give glad tidings, and do not turn people away,” and: “Indeed, gentleness isn’t found in something except that it beautifies it, and it isn’t removed from something except that it ruins it.”

And start with the most important issues, and go in order. Don’t get into arguments with them over secondary matters while their principles are messed up. Instead, begin by addressing the principles, and if you happen to come across problems in secondary issues, tie it to the main principles and don’t make your enmity with them except when it comes to the basic principle of the Religion, Tawhid, its nullifiers, and what breaks its firm handhold…”

Source: http://iskandrani.wordpress.com/2009/10/14/advice-on-dealing-with-family/

“…It is not a coincidence that the Qur’an tells us in ‘al-Qasas’ about the conflict between Musa and Fir’awn (Moses and Pharaoh), and the Qur’an’s focus on this conflict is the verse: {“And We wished to do a favor to those who were oppressed in the land, and to make them rulers and to make them the inheritors.”} [al-Qasas; 5] So, this transferal of power began with a woman, as Allah Said: {“And We inspired to the mother of Musa: “Suckle him. But, when you fear for him, cast him into the river and do not fear or grieve…””} [al-Qasas; 7]

So, the woman is the focal point of our conflict with our opponents, and the outcome of either victory or defeat will come through her. These are not words for a speech or poetry. Rather, it is the reality that we must all pay attention to.

So, you see today the best of this Ummah – where are its men? They are either in prisons, kicked out of their countries, or occupied with this struggle. So, who will protect the family and raise the children and see to the daily affairs of life? It is none other than the woman. And thanks to Allah, the Islamic Da’wah has won the battle until now when it comes to the woman despite the presence of some shortcomings in her being violated, corrupted, and turned into a source of corruption.

The conflict has begun in that the situation of the woman in our Ummah is not purely Islamic, as many social restrictions placed around the woman contradict the Shari’ah of Allah. For example, preventing her from education, preventing her from her right of ownership, looking down on her, and the spread of jahili practices against her – this reality gave a chance for the modern liberal jahiliyyah to gain acceptance with some of these poor women. With the help of their filthy devils, their goal is to transform the woman into a product to be displayed. Because of this, those of us involved in this da’wah have to free ourselves from these two forms of jahiliyyah – the first jahiliyyah and the second jahiliyyah; the corrupt jahiliyyah of the people and the jahiliyyah of liberalism. The correct path is with Islam, which is to respect the woman and appreciate her and to protect her rights to education and work that is within the guidelines of the Shari’ah, in addition to her rights of ownership, inheritance, etc.

And from the things we must struggle against in order to tighten the way for Satan to spread his message are high dowries in marriage, and to raise the excellent Islamic slogan of “The lesser your dowry is, the more your blessings will be,” as the presence of unmarried men and women who are at the age where they should be married is a hidden evil that can destroy every good. So, lowering dowries will end this, without a doubt. Also, we should break the shackles of this evil jahiliyyah such as the requirement of equal social status between spouses. This is a baseless condition, as Zaynab bint Jahsh – who was from Quraysh – married Zayd bin Harithah, who was a slave…and I have seen those who prefer that their daughters remain unmarried than to marry her to a Muslim who is not from the same country or tribe, and such people are described in the Shari’ah as oppressive caretakers, and their position as caretakers is nullified due to their inappropriate actions and foolishness.

The woman is the essence of our Ummah, and any shortcoming from her is a true defeat. Therefore, we have to take care of this aspect and to give it its proper attention. We see failure coming from some men who are on this path. However, until now, we have not seen failure from our sisters. Rather, we have only seen patience, resolve, faith, and true determination. Our sisters and mothers in Palestine are miracles of Allah in all of this, and some of them are unequaled by hundreds of Mujahid men in their struggle, patience, and resolve. Likewise, we saw in the Gulf countries awareness among the women that was much stronger than what was with the men, and purity of heart in supporting those struggling for this religion that we did not see from the men. So, all praise is for Allah, the Lord of the worlds. As for the West, the wives of the non-Arab brothers have Islam, faith, and awareness that we rarely see with the men. As for the wives of the Arab immigrants, they are generally much better and purer than their husbands. I heard many complaints from the Muslim women about the weakness of their husbands in regards to their religious practice, and this criticism proves the high status that our sisters hold and that they are better than the men, by the favor of Allah.

The attention that Satan and his soldiers give to the religious woman in her Hijab shows us the importance of this conflict. Therefore, it isn’t strange that France – with all of its problems – would turn its attention to fighting the Hijab and legislating laws to ban it, and to have many European countries imitate it in this devilish move. Likewise, if you follow what goes on in many conferences and the attention and effort given to destroy the family structure and the woman, you will come to realize that the woman is a fortress that is quite significant. So, this battle is one that we cannot ignore.

We have to teach our women, because education is what will protect her from failure. The ignorant woman is an enemy to herself, her husband, her household, and her society. And we have to defend her rights, and it is upon the propagators and scholars and religious people to distinguish true Islam from jahili social customs, because baseless social customs are the weapon that the modern jahiliyyah uses in its battle against the woman.

Why do we hear today of misyar marriages? I am not discussing the ruling on it here. Rather, I am discussing it as an unfamiliar social phenomenon, because the norm is that marriages are announced and known to all. The reason it now exists is because of the social deviation that is manifested in high dowries and the existence of the baseless condition of equal social status between the man and woman. So, the youth are turned off from marriage and remain unmarried, and the natural result is this sick, twisted form of marriage. This twisted form of marriage is what takes place when the woman is conscious of her Lord. However, if she is like other women, the result will be that she falls into a great offense, without a doubt…

We have the utmost love, respect, and appreciation for our believing mothers, sisters, and daughters. And for our patient wives, we have all the love, prayers, and gratitude. Were it not for them, we would be nothing, and there would be no future for our children…”

source:

http://iskandrani.wordpress.com/2009/07/15/our-women-the-essence-of-the-ummah/

Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents emphasized for him to get married. they had seen so many marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind.

However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say “she’s not the one!”

The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing, however one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious, and practicing.

On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask each other questions. (As one would expect).

The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask first.

The young girl asked the young man so many questions, she asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his shoe size..

The young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any questions?

The young man said, it’s ok. I only have 3 questions…

The young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, shoot.

The young man’s first question was, who do you love the most in the world, someone whose love nothing would ever overcome?

She said, this is an easy question; my mother, he smiled second question, he asked, you said that you read a lot of qur’an, could you tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?

Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, I do not know the meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon Insha’allah I’ve just been a bit busy. The third question the young man asked, was I have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are a lot more prettier than you, why should I marry you?

Hearing this, the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said I do not want to marry this man he is insulting my beauty, and intelligence. And the young man and his parents were once again, left without an agreement of marriage.

This time, the young man’s parents were really angry, and said what did you do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl?? Tell us!

The young man said, firstly I asked her, and who do you love the most? She said, her mother,

The parents said so, what is wrong with that??

The young man said, “no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his messenger (saw) more than anyone else in the world”

If a woman loves Allah and the Prophet (SAW) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah (SWT) and we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty.

The young man said, then I asked, you read a lot of Qur’an, can you tell me the meaning of any Surah?

And she said no, because I haven’t had time yet. so I thought of that hadith “ALL humans, are dead except for those who have knowledge” She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the madrasa (school) and the best of teachers. And a woman who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband.

The third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, more prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why should I choose you?

That is why she stormed off, getting angry. The young man’s parents said that is a horrible thing to say, whywould you do such a thing, we are going back there to apologise. The young man said I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger.

The Prophet (saw) said “do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get angry” when asked how to become pious; because anger is from Satan.

If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met,do you think she will be able to control it with her husband??

So, the moral of this story is, a marriage is based on:

§  Knowledge, not looks,

§  Practice, not preaching,

§  Forgiveness, not anger,

§  Spiritual love, not lust.

§  and Compromise

One should look for a person who

§  Has love for Allah (swt) and the messenger (saw)

§  Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.

§  can control their anger

§  and willing to compromise.

And it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same things.

Insha’allah, may Allah make every marriage a success, and let us create Love for Allah and his Messenger(SAW) so that Allah can bless us, and create love in our lives.

There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage. – The Prophet of Islam (SAW)

Our Parents: Our Masters
source

These are collected from as-Samarqandi’s ‘Tambih al-Ghafilin’ (p. 84-91):

From the chapter on the rights of the parents:

1 – Ibn ‘Abbas said:

“There is not a single believer who has two parents and wakes up while he is good to them except that Allah opens up for him two gates to Paradise, and if he makes one of them angry, Allah will not be Pleased with him until that parent becomes pleased with him again.” It was asked: “Even if that parent was oppressive and in the wrong?” It was replied: “Yes, even so. And he never wakes up while he is bad to them except that Allah opens up for him two gates to Hell.”

2 – as-Samarqandi said:

“If Allah – the Exalted – had not mentioned the position and sacredness of the parents in His Book, and did not admonish regarding it, then it would have been realized by simple logic. So, it is obligatory upon the one with logic and intelligence to realize their sacredness and to fulfill their rights. How is it, then, when Allah – the Exalted – has mentioned this in all of His Books: the Torah, the Gospels, the Psalms and the Qur’an, has commanded this in all of His Books, and revealed this to all of His Prophets and advised them regarding the honorable position of the parents and their rights, and has made His Pleasure dependent on their pleasure, and His Anger dependent on their anger?”

3 – Farqad as-Sabakhi said:

“I have read in many books that it is not for the son (or daughter) to speak in the presence of the parents except with their permission, or to walk in front of them, or to their right or left, unless they call him to walk next to them. Rather, he should walk behind them as a slave walks behind his master.”

4 – It was said by a group of the Tabi’in:

“Whoever supplicates for his parents five times in a day has fulfilled their rights, since Allah has Said: {“…to thank Me and your parents. To Me is the final return.”} [Luqman; 14], and you thank Allah – the Exalted – by praying five times in a day. Likewise, you would thank your parents by praying for them five times in a day.”

5 – It was said by a group of the Companions:

“To leave off praying for one’s parents results in a tight and constricted life for the son.”

And let’s not forget about the rights upon the parents:

6 – as-Samarqandi related that Abu Hafs al-Iskandrani – one of the scholars of Uzbekistan – said that a man came to him and said:

“My son hit me and hurt me!” The scholar said: “Glory be to Allah! A son hitting his father? Have you taught him manners and knowledge?” The man said: “No.” “Have you taught him the Qur’an?” The man replied: “No.” “So, what does he know how to do?” The man replied: “Farming.” “Do you know why he hit you?” The man replied: “No.” The scholar then said: “It might have been that when he woke up in the morning, he went to the fields, was riding on a donkey, had a stick between his hands, had a dog behind him, and did not have any knowledge of the Qur’an (because you failed to teach him any of it). So, he started singing, you came out to him at that moment, he thought you were a cow, and hit you with the stick. So, thank Allah that your skull was not fractured.”

7 – It was narrated by one of the early righteous people:

…that he would not order his son with something, and if he needed something, he would ask someone else for it. When he was asked about this, he said: “I fear that if I were to command my son with something that he wouldn’t be able to bear, he would not carry it out and would therefore be disobedient to me and would deserve Hell as a result, and I do not want to be the cause of my son burning in Hell.”

A compilation of Fatawa (edicts) of different scholars & institutions on issues relating to love, sex & rape.
(last update Monday 04 August 2008)
By Ustadh Ahmed Fazel Ebrahim, Johannesburg, South Africa
www.fatwa.org.za

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

How I got hold of this e-book is quite fascinating.  About 1 1/2 weeks ago my brother & I are driving toward the city when we spot an elderly man hitchiking. My brother mentions that the man is a Molana and knows one of the guys at work.  We promptly stop the car, take a u-turn and proceed to give him a lift.

Turns out he was about 1.5km away from home, tackling a very steep incline which is no feat for an elderly individual.  Anyway we get to talking a bit and he says he runs the Fatwa.org.za website. I reply that i recall seeing that address on the mailing list.  As he left he mentions he will email me a very good guide & book on islamic marriage, sexual relations, and similar.

This free e-book is a compilation of various Q&A’s from across the country.  It still is a work-in-progress and all answers are accompanied by the specific Ulema, Hadith or similar.

This should clear up many misconceptions about Islam & Sex, Marital relations, husban & wife behaviour & so forth.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD
Approximately 1.3mb.  Zip filed containing the PDF Document – You will need Adobe Acrobat to read it.

Credit to Mohammed Hassim who emailed me this piece:

Narrated by Abu Huraira (ra): The Prophet[pbuh] said, “Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And Haya[modesty] is a part of faith.” (Bukhari)

Walk into the toy store, and you’ll find “baby” dolls dressed in clothing reminiscent of prostitutes’ outfits. Walk into the clothing store, and prepubescent girls are already being introduced to tank tops, mini skirts, and items of clothing that were once reserved for mature women.
But hey, this is nothing new. It’s been around for a while. and I think that many of us have become somewhat desensitized to this. There are times that we’ll remember how bad it is, but what usually happens is that we cluck over it for a bit and then get distracted by the many other problems we’re facing.

Now, however, I’d like to take the time to address this issue from a couple different angles – both a psychosocial and religious point of view.
In Wendy Shalit’s book “Girls Gone Mild,” she discusses the culture of hypersexualization: how it’s being promoted, through both media and consumerism, how it’s permeated society, and how it has so dangerously affected our lives and mentalities- the psychosocial ramifications of hypersexualized culture are already evident and recognized even by non-Muslims.
Awareness of sexuality is occurring at a much earlier age today, and almost always with a confused or warped understanding of it. Girls and boys are both growing up insensitively exposed to sights and concepts about the human body that were once discovered at a much slower rate that accommodated their level of mental and emotional maturity.

It doesn’t exist only amongst non-Muslims. Even Muslims are infected with the disease of hypersexualization, and its effects are far-reaching. Girls who wear hijaab still obsess over their weight and their image and try to look older than they are-without the maturity or understanding of what ‘older’ really means.
In addition to general psychological and social effects of hypersexualization, as Muslims there is another dimension that makes the issue even more important for us to be aware of.

The concept of hayaa’ – of modesty and shyness – is one that we Muslims should all be aware of, and prize highly, and do our best to cultivate within ourselves. There are many different kinds of hayaa’, but in this context we’ll deal specifically with modesty relating to our bodies.
In Islam, we have something which we call the ‘awra: the part of our bodies that we try to keep covered as much as possible. In general, although of course it differs with women in respect to the hijaab and so on, the ‘awra can be described as what is between the navel and the knees.

Sheikh Hisham al-Awadhi mentions in his series about Children Around the Messenger that sex education and awareness is supposed to begin at an early age for Muslim children – starting with the understanding that there are certain times and places that they cannot enter without permission. Hopefully this is something that Muslim parents are implementing with their children. but then there’s another kind of sex education that must be addressed. That is, teaching our children how to have respect and modesty regarding their own body, and others.’
It’s not enough to just give kids “the birds and the bees” talk and to make girls start wearing hijaab – indeed, I find that there are far too many girls out there who wear hijaab without even fully understanding the many wisdoms behind it, including that of respect, modesty, and self-esteem. Rather, we have to cultivate within them an understanding that whatever they see outside, whatever they hear from others about their bodies and self-image, there is something far more important to keep in mind: to have taqwa not just in matters of “dos” and “don’ts” but also about our attitude towards our bodies.

Respect your body and have self-confidence. Know that first of all, we don’t cover our bodies because we’re ashamed of it – rather, we’re proud of it and respect it. Allah created us in the best of ways, with body parts that both look good (well. mostly!) and perform neccessary functions. However, just ‘cuz we look good doesn’t mean that we should be showing it off to the whole world! (BTW, this goes for men also – please, no Speedos! Those don’t even look good.)

I think it’s of especial importance to get this message across to young girls: hijaabi or not, most girls have issues with their self-esteem and self-image, especially in this society where so much emphasis is placed on making oneself physically attractive. In addition to making them realize that it’s what’s on the inside that counts, we can’t forget that it’s human nature to want to be beautiful – Therefore parents are reminded to make their daughters feel good by complimenting her on her beauty inside the house. Notice when she’s wearing a new outfit, tell her how the colour looks great with her eyes, how lovely she is, etc. In this way, by knowing that others – who are allowed to see her beauty(i.e. her mahaarim) – think she’s beautiful, there’ll be less of a need for her to desire others’ approval of her attractiveness.

Respect others’ bodies. Whether it’s a kaafir or a Muslim, a man or a woman, covered or naked. have respect and shyness for their bodies. Don’t look at what’s not permissable to look at; don’t behave in a manner that’s contrary to the entire concept of hayaa’. Lower your gaze and have good manners. Far too often have I seen hijaabi girls giggling over a model, actor, or even a brother at a community function; similarly, stories about men ogling hijaabis or drooling over non-Muslim women is disgusting because that’s NOT how a Muslim is supposed to act at any time, towards anyone.

Just as girls need a bit of help with the first point, I think parents need to spend more time teaching boys about the second. Part of good manners is to have respect for women and treat them decently no matter how they’re dressed – to truly lower the gaze and behave as the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) did towards women. It needs to start when they’re young, and reinforced as preteens and young teens, so that it will stick with them as adult men who have to deal with women in many different kinds of situations. Recently I saw witnessed two youngsters – although they’re only 12 and 13, they felt shy when they passed by a woman who was indecently dressed. They made a point of averting their gaze, but still treated whoever it was with respect by speaking politely. Sadly, there aren’t many examples of such kids these days.
Another problem that I know many parents struggle with is trying to teach their kids that the pictures of half-naked men and women on advertisements, billboards, TV, etc. are not acceptable Islamically. I believe that this issue is related to the point above: having respect for other people’s bodies. A somewhat uncomfortable question that younger kids might bring up (usually at most inopportune moments!) is something along the lines of, “Mama, why is that lady not wearing any clothes?” or “Dad, why is that man in his underwear?”
This is when, instead of cringing or hissing at them to be quiet or ignoring them, you explain to them about how there are many people who don’t protect their bodies the way we do. Insha’Allah, if you handle it the right way – open, matter-of-factly, but pressing the concept of hayaa’ – your children will grow up knowing that while the human body isn’t something to be ashamed of, it IS something to be cared for, protected, and respected.

Innocence is an endangered species. Instead of ignoring the repercussions of the situation, complaining about it, and not doing anything about it, we have to be proactive in dealing with it. Recognize how it affects our children, and take the necessary measures to address it in an Islamic and psychologically healthy manner.
Also by far, our own example will be most beneficial. If we as parents lower our gazes when in front of the opposite sex this will be educative. Lets also take out SPECIAL DEDICATED time to interact and educate our kids.

Here are a few hadith that we can use to educate our kids:
The Prophet said, “Beware! Avoid sitting on the roads.” They (the people) said, “O Allah’s Apostle! We can’t help sitting (on the roads) as these are (our places) where we have talks.” The Prophet said, “If you refuse but to sit, then pay the road its right.” They said, “What is the right of the road, O Allah’s Apostle?” He said, “Lowering your gaze, refraining from harming others, returning greeting, and enjoining what is good, and forbidding what is evil.” [Bukhari]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: A man should not look at the private parts of another man, and a woman should not look at the private parts of another woman[Abu Dawood]

“Ibn Abbas narrated: ‘The Prophet (S) cursed the men who appear like women and the women who appear like men.’” (Bukhari)
“Ayesha (R) reported that Asmaa the daughter of Abu Bakr (R) came to the Messenger of Allah (S) while wearing thin clothing. He approached her and said: ‘O Asmaa! When a girl reaches the menstrual age, it is not proper that anything should remain exposed except this and this. He pointed to the face and hands.” (Abu Dawood)

From the Quran: ” And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display theri beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw theri veils over their bosoms adn not display their beauty except to their husbands, tathers, husbands’ fathers, sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women or the slaves whom their right hand possess or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sence of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah(S.W.T) that ye may attain Bliss (Surah 24:31)

A beautiful Story!
“There was a muslim brother in Glasgow who became ill and was hospitalized. He was admitted for three days and on the fourth day the attendant nurse said, “Marry me”.He [the brother in Glasgow] asked, “Why? I am a Muslim, you and I cannot become companions.”She said, “I will become Muslim”.”What’s the reason?” it was asked.She said, “In all my time that I have served in hospitals, except you, I have never seen a man lower his gaze in front of a woman. In my life you are the first person who lowers his gaze when seeing a woman. I come, and you close your eyes. Such great modesty can be taught by none other than a true religion.”The protection of one’s gaze entered Islam in her. She testified to the Oneness of Allah and became a Muslim. They both got married. By now, the same woman was and is the means of bringing so many other girls and women into Islam.

In a Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (saw) is reported as having said: “And the eyes commit zina (adultery). Their zina is gazing.” The Prophet Muhammad (saw) commanded Ali (RA) and said to him: “Ali! Do not look once after another, for the first look is for you (since it happens accidentally) while the second is against you.”
May Allah protect us all from the fitnah, fasaad, and faahishah that is all around us, ameen!

This one had me in tears,  imagine an Ummah where our mothers had this level of Imaan and where our sons were this brave & fearless.

It is mentioned that one of the righteous women in Basra was Umm Ibrahim al Hashimeeyah. The enemy attacked one of the Muslim towns so people were encouraged to join jihad. Abdul Wahid bin Zayd al Basri delivered a speech encouraging jihad and among the audience was Umm Ibrahim. Among the things Abdul Wahid talked about was al Hoor (the women of Paradise). Umm Ibrahim stood up and said to Abdul Wahid: “You know my son Ibrahim and you know that the nobility of al Basra wish to have him marry one of their daughters and I have not agreed to one of them yet. But I like this girl you described and I would be happy to marry her to my son. Can you please describe her again?”

Abdul Wahid then narrated a poem in the description of the Hoor. Umm Ibrahim said: “I want my son to marry this girl and I would pay you 10,000 dinars as her dowry and you take him with you in this army. He might die as a Shaheed and intercede for me on the Day of Judgment.” Abdul Wahid said: “If you do so, that is great success for you and your son.” She then called her son from the audience. He stood up and said: “Yes my mother!” She said: “Are you pleased to marry this girl with the condition of giving your soul to Allah?” He said: “Yes! I am very pleased!” She said: “O Allah you are my witness that I have married my son to this girl from Paradise with the condition he spends his soul in your sake” Then she went and brought back with her 10,000 dinars and gave it to Abdul Wahid and said: “This is her dowry. Take it and use it to provide for the mujahideen” She then purchased for her son a good horse and she armed him. When the army started its march Ibrahim came out with the reciters of Quran surrounding him and reciting:
“Indeed, Allah has purchased from the believers their lives and their properties [in exchange] for that they will have Paradise.”

When Umm Ibrahim was greeting her son she told him: “Be careful and don’t allow any shortcomings from yourself to be seen by Allah” She them embraced him and kissed him and said: “May Allah never bring us together except on the Day of Judgment!”

Abdul Wahid said: “When we reached the enemy’s territory and people were called to fight. Ibrahim was in the front and he killed many of the enemy but then they overwhelmed him and killed him. On our way back I told my soldiers not to tell Umm Ibrahim that her son was killed until I tell her. When we entered al Basra she met me and said: “Did Allah accept my gift so I can celebrate or was it rejected so I should cry?” I said: “Allah did accept your gift and your son died as a Shaheed” She then prostrated to thank Allah and said: “Thank you Allah for accepting my gift” The following day she came to me in the mosque and said: “Rejoice!” I said: “What good news do you have?” She said: “I saw my son Ibrahim last night in a dream. He was in a beautiful garden dressed in green clothes, sitting on a throne made of pearl and he had a crown on his head. He told me: “Rejoice my mother! I got married to my bride!”

Taken from: Mashari Al-Ashwaq Ila Masari Al-Ushaaq Wa Mutheer Al-Gharaam Ila Daar Assalaam
THE BOOK OF JIHAD
By Abi Zakaryya Al Dimashqi Al Dumyati “Ibn-Nuhaas”
(D. 814 Hijri) Translated By Noor Yamani (Abridged)
Revised –Abu Rauda